Dr. Charlie Shedd, author of Letters to Karen and Letters to Philip, once said "the biggest trouble with trouble is that it keeps us expecting more trouble."
My dad would train his dogs and a few horses to not shy from the sound of a gun-shot. I aways thought it was strange that you would have to do that because all the dogs I grew up didn't run away from the sound of a gun. Yet, years later we bought a Collie and he would hear firecrackers and go absolutely nuts trying to get in the house he was so scared.
Failures in life can be like gun-shots. We are taught about succeeding and we hear about "when you get knocked down, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and getting going again." But how many times, and what does it do to your attitude? I've talked, written, and tweeted about "what you say when you talk to yourself." That is actually the name of a book I have by Shad Helmstetter and it was the first book my wife ever say me purchase 25 years ago. She was wondering "what?" The techniques in the book helped me through some things then and have many times since. Without getting into a deep positive-mental-attitude agenda, we do need to be careful about what we think, what we say to ourselves, the "pictures we have in our head."
Remember that "failure is an event, not a person." (Zig)
Today, let's expect great things! Today is the day my Lord has made and I'll rejoice and be glad in it.
To that end.....God Bless
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Thoughts on Following
I began the week with a focus on following; reading and learning about
the subject, how it's done well, not so well, the-good-the-bad-the-
ugly, and just literally what it is.
The week is ending with pondering all the same, but from more of a
perspective of how well I followed. And was followed.
The box needs improvement on both. While some would say I've followed well, I say it has been quite blind and not near courageous enough.
To that end...
the subject, how it's done well, not so well, the-good-the-bad-the-
ugly, and just literally what it is.
The week is ending with pondering all the same, but from more of a
perspective of how well I followed. And was followed.
The box needs improvement on both. While some would say I've followed well, I say it has been quite blind and not near courageous enough.
To that end...
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Trusting Yourself First
I have a few firm beliefs. One of them is this; "if I can't trust myself, I will not trust others."
Covey, in The Speed of Trust, talks about self trust in connection with it being the principle of credibility. I agree that to be credible to others one first has to trust themselves, and how well one trust oneself is in direct proportion to how WELL one trust another.
I've struggle with this quite a bit though because there are areas in which I trust myself but don't feel I can trust another. So, I circle back around to - what is good trust? am I blindly trust someone? are the results of the trust in proper proportion to the trust being given in the event it turns out bad?
We have to be certain we have the proper concept of trust down first and then we have to keep circling back to our own trust.
Do I trust myself to do what I need to get done in even the small things. Example; definsive driving - I knew when I agreed to take definsive driving after getting a speeding ticket that it would be a very slim chance that I would set down at a computer for 8 hours, or go to a comedy class, or whatever. Give me a break! A comedy class about definsive driving. It obviously works but I'll have to have at least one more ticket first.
I digressed....with all that I have going on in my life, agreeing with the Bee Cave court to take definsive driving was just plain stupid on my part and after not taking it, missing the next court date, paying the money I would have gotten out of, but paying for the definsive driving anyway, I now have another court date scheduled as I try get out of the $595 fine for missing the court date for not taking definsive driving that I knew wouldn't happen. I remember walking out of the court last March thinking "Smith! What did you just do? You agreed to set down and take definsive driving? Just pay the other $100 and be done with it!"
And what does that have to do with trusting others? Everything. In order to have a propensity to trust, one has to have a true north, a core, a foundation to start with. That true north starts with ourself. The Bible says to love others as we love ourselves. I know, it says to first to Love God, but that's another blog.
God Bless, learn to trust yourself....to that end.
Covey, in The Speed of Trust, talks about self trust in connection with it being the principle of credibility. I agree that to be credible to others one first has to trust themselves, and how well one trust oneself is in direct proportion to how WELL one trust another.
I've struggle with this quite a bit though because there are areas in which I trust myself but don't feel I can trust another. So, I circle back around to - what is good trust? am I blindly trust someone? are the results of the trust in proper proportion to the trust being given in the event it turns out bad?
We have to be certain we have the proper concept of trust down first and then we have to keep circling back to our own trust.
Do I trust myself to do what I need to get done in even the small things. Example; definsive driving - I knew when I agreed to take definsive driving after getting a speeding ticket that it would be a very slim chance that I would set down at a computer for 8 hours, or go to a comedy class, or whatever. Give me a break! A comedy class about definsive driving. It obviously works but I'll have to have at least one more ticket first.
I digressed....with all that I have going on in my life, agreeing with the Bee Cave court to take definsive driving was just plain stupid on my part and after not taking it, missing the next court date, paying the money I would have gotten out of, but paying for the definsive driving anyway, I now have another court date scheduled as I try get out of the $595 fine for missing the court date for not taking definsive driving that I knew wouldn't happen. I remember walking out of the court last March thinking "Smith! What did you just do? You agreed to set down and take definsive driving? Just pay the other $100 and be done with it!"
And what does that have to do with trusting others? Everything. In order to have a propensity to trust, one has to have a true north, a core, a foundation to start with. That true north starts with ourself. The Bible says to love others as we love ourselves. I know, it says to first to Love God, but that's another blog.
God Bless, learn to trust yourself....to that end.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
How Credible are You?
A previous posting on Self Trust has brought up some interesting conversations, including the whole concept of credibility and ethics.
I'll say first that ethics hass gotten distorted because of the technical teaching of how to be ethical without lying and cheating...or at least not technically.
So, how credible are you? On pages 50 - 53 of the book The Speed of Trust there are a serious of questions that form an assessment you can take and grade yourself. If you are honest with yourself, it will give you a fairly good idea of where you stand with yourself. After scoring yourself, and if you have others that will be honest with you, have them score you. The gap between your personal score of yourself and their score of you will give you a good idea of how much you need to improve.
If there isn't a gap; someone is lying.
I'll say first that ethics hass gotten distorted because of the technical teaching of how to be ethical without lying and cheating...or at least not technically.
So, how credible are you? On pages 50 - 53 of the book The Speed of Trust there are a serious of questions that form an assessment you can take and grade yourself. If you are honest with yourself, it will give you a fairly good idea of where you stand with yourself. After scoring yourself, and if you have others that will be honest with you, have them score you. The gap between your personal score of yourself and their score of you will give you a good idea of how much you need to improve.
If there isn't a gap; someone is lying.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Pay Attention to Other's Strengths
Leading well means a lot of things, including the awareness of the strengths and weaknesses of those in the box with you.
It's ok to develop strengths, or hire others to balance your team, but you can only work with what you have in your box; success comes from the box.
To train, that means you have to determine what to train and it takes time and money. That time and money is part of what is in the box.
Leading in the box, thinking in the box, means you're searching the matter out and not wishing for things to be different. It leads to positive results and not worrying about what is out of control anyway.
Staying in the box is real; it's being sure you're looking at the reality, getting better, staying focused, talking straight, and learning from mistakes.
To that end....
It's ok to develop strengths, or hire others to balance your team, but you can only work with what you have in your box; success comes from the box.
To train, that means you have to determine what to train and it takes time and money. That time and money is part of what is in the box.
Leading in the box, thinking in the box, means you're searching the matter out and not wishing for things to be different. It leads to positive results and not worrying about what is out of control anyway.
Staying in the box is real; it's being sure you're looking at the reality, getting better, staying focused, talking straight, and learning from mistakes.
To that end....
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Communicate, But Connect First With Your Credibility
John Maxwell is writing a new book titled Everyone Communicates, Few Connect and he is posting chapter drafts of his manuscript for comments at http://johnmaxwellonleadership.com/.
He is asking for comments and stories, even corrections. Here is a bit of my comment to Chapter 8; The Connector Creates an Experience Everyone Enjoys.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Credibility. To truly connect with an audience it takes credibility.
When I hear John Maxwell speak, I'm connected to the credibility he's built with me as I've tested the principles from his books and tapes over the years.
On a more personal, and closer to home level, the communication (words out of one's mouth, or fingers), is altered by the credibility the communicator has with us. The connectivity is more real, more often, we see them in real-time. Such connectivity causes problems when you have someone you deal with on a daily basis, especially when the results of their work is not up-to-par; that connectivity will affect the communication because of the credibility. They might laugh and even be encouraged, but due to the credibility issues, the connectivity is short-lived.
Because of that erosion the communication and connectivity was only good for momentary grins. The communicator’s credibility is tied to their level of leadership and the lower the level, especially the Position level, will cause serious damage if the others are being driven by management to learn from the communicator.
True connectivity has to be grounded in credibility.
.
I listen to a new pastor and he sticks to what I’m familiar with; credible. He brings up something I’m not familiar with……I’ll have to check out what he said, and get to know more about him, his past, and his doctrine before I connect well with him; he doesn’t have good credibility with me at-this-time.
Yet, I listen to John Maxwell, or Tim Keller, or John Piper and I have few filters engaged. They’re credibility with me already assumes a higher level of in my connectivity. I expect to connect with them because of the credibility they’ve built with me over the years.
Similarly, at work, whether communicating in person or email, my connectivity to the other person is driven by the credibility that person has with me, and even how I feel my credibility is with them. Much like Covey describes in The Speed of Trust, credibility and connecting well spins around how we walk the talk, our behavior, how capable we are, and the results we get.
Communicate, but connect first with your credibility.
Note: go to John Maxwell's link and read more about Everyone Communicates, Few Connect
He is asking for comments and stories, even corrections. Here is a bit of my comment to Chapter 8; The Connector Creates an Experience Everyone Enjoys.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Credibility. To truly connect with an audience it takes credibility.
When I hear John Maxwell speak, I'm connected to the credibility he's built with me as I've tested the principles from his books and tapes over the years.
On a more personal, and closer to home level, the communication (words out of one's mouth, or fingers), is altered by the credibility the communicator has with us. The connectivity is more real, more often, we see them in real-time. Such connectivity causes problems when you have someone you deal with on a daily basis, especially when the results of their work is not up-to-par; that connectivity will affect the communication because of the credibility. They might laugh and even be encouraged, but due to the credibility issues, the connectivity is short-lived.
Because of that erosion the communication and connectivity was only good for momentary grins. The communicator’s credibility is tied to their level of leadership and the lower the level, especially the Position level, will cause serious damage if the others are being driven by management to learn from the communicator.
True connectivity has to be grounded in credibility.
.
I listen to a new pastor and he sticks to what I’m familiar with; credible. He brings up something I’m not familiar with……I’ll have to check out what he said, and get to know more about him, his past, and his doctrine before I connect well with him; he doesn’t have good credibility with me at-this-time.
Yet, I listen to John Maxwell, or Tim Keller, or John Piper and I have few filters engaged. They’re credibility with me already assumes a higher level of in my connectivity. I expect to connect with them because of the credibility they’ve built with me over the years.
Similarly, at work, whether communicating in person or email, my connectivity to the other person is driven by the credibility that person has with me, and even how I feel my credibility is with them. Much like Covey describes in The Speed of Trust, credibility and connecting well spins around how we walk the talk, our behavior, how capable we are, and the results we get.
Communicate, but connect first with your credibility.
Note: go to John Maxwell's link and read more about Everyone Communicates, Few Connect
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Counterfeit Credibility
Googling counterfeit brought up over 7 million hits; counterfeit behavior 948,000.
Counterfeit means; made in imitation so as to be passed off fraudulently or deceptively as genuine; not genuine; forged: counterfeit dollar bills. Pretended; unreal.
Credibility means; capable of being believed; believable: a credible statement. Worthy of belief or confidence; trustworthy: a credible witness.
Counterfeit Credibility then means that one's credibility, or credible statement, or credible witness is an imitation, deceptive, not genuine, and deceptive.
Normal counterfeit behaviors that destroys others trust in us, AND one's trust in oneself include:
Technically telling the truth
Legally splitting hairs
Spinning the real issues
Withholding information (well, they didn't ask the right question)
Hidden motives and agendas
Passive-aggressive behavior
Being driven by circumstance and not conscience
Being two-faced; pretending to care
Pretending to pay attention
Being busy to look busy and not getting results
Not accepting the blame when it is your fault
To that end....
Counterfeit means; made in imitation so as to be passed off fraudulently or deceptively as genuine; not genuine; forged: counterfeit dollar bills. Pretended; unreal.
Credibility means; capable of being believed; believable: a credible statement. Worthy of belief or confidence; trustworthy: a credible witness.
Counterfeit Credibility then means that one's credibility, or credible statement, or credible witness is an imitation, deceptive, not genuine, and deceptive.
Normal counterfeit behaviors that destroys others trust in us, AND one's trust in oneself include:
Technically telling the truth
Legally splitting hairs
Spinning the real issues
Withholding information (well, they didn't ask the right question)
Hidden motives and agendas
Passive-aggressive behavior
Being driven by circumstance and not conscience
Being two-faced; pretending to care
Pretending to pay attention
Being busy to look busy and not getting results
Not accepting the blame when it is your fault
To that end....
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